hello honey (:

This is going to be a short post haha. Yep, i shall be a good girl and study super hard from now on. Don’t ask me why i put this pic here haha. It’s like nice leh, so i put lor.

We went to paint banners ytd and it was fun heh (: Ee Lynn said my painting was nice which gave me a chance to disiao shiying about her painting hohohoho. And ytd was quite eventful yayz.

First i woke up super early in the morning (taking into consideration that the day before i slept at 12 to complete my piano hw) to go for lesson. And i sat at my teacher’s house for class for a whole hour and i almost died zomg. It usually is okay and not that bad, but WTFBBQ ASDFGHJKL my eyes were shutting. Yeah, then i went to school (omg nuuuuuu school on weekend fml) to paint banners and then i went for cip which was like super sian so i went to collect specs and makan-ed yayz.

Ok wlao why am i posting all my shit here.

I’m bored. fml. Shall continue studying nao. kthxbai

 

the ninth circle of hell

People always talk about the ninth circle of hell being the worst and that level filled with sinners who have committed the worst of crimes. Yeah, the exact level that punishes Lucifer. Btw this is in the bible context (not being religious).

FYI: Lucifer was Christ’s right hand man. So one day, Christ decided that he wanted to give us, humans, that he created, the freedom to control ourselves. Lucifer was angry about this and felt that only angels could have this power, so he decided to start a rebellion which failed more than miserably.

This landed him in the ninth and supposedly lowest circle of hell. Now, in hell, you may have this impression that it is burning hot and your soles sizzled where ever you walked; healed whenever you sat; and burned once more. Actually no. It is ice cold. In Lucifer’s case, he was frozen from waist down in the lake of ice for eternity. Well, it’ okay right? Not that bad right? Honestly, no. Because in this lake of eternity, any movement made would freeze the tears on his face and any water surrounding him. Because God, according to Dante, was all about movement, about motion, about energy. And the lack of it thereof is the worst of punishments.

Anw, Dante is an Italian poet and writer.

And i’m just good right? Share such a nice story with you all. LOL okay actually i didn’t really research on it. I just came across this section in a book i was reading.

Honestly, sometimes i feel that my life is the exact opposite of Lucifer’s. It is like, i have the freedom to do so many things whenever and where ever i want to. I know this is supposed to be a blessing from the heavens but it sometimes leaves me at loss. It is like, that kind of power i have is seriously lonely. It just shows that nobody really cares about whatever i do and i will be forever alone.

I don’t think i’m completely alone so i’m in no position to say how that feels haha. GOOD BYE (: i will share more insightful things the next time i feel like LOL. Maybe you can bribe me. heh

夏恋

嘘です。

My neck feels really uncomfortable and it’s like no number of salonpas stickers will help wtf. I think the only thing that’ll cure this would be sleep and aircon. Obviously sleep is out of the question (wlao some more i’m like spending time to blog here). And well… i’d rather not get into another useless argument with my father over whoever is supposed to use the remote.

I have so many things i can talk about yet so many things i can’t. I realise that what i usually want to say has to be censored and it gets me irritated cos i find myself constricted and ugh. I get lazy to post

错了一次，没有的回头了

是你的错吗？是的，一切都是我的错。

你错在那里呢？我不知道，但是这一切都是我的错。

那你又为什么说是你的错呢？难道我说不是，就真的不是我的错吗？就算真的不是有意的，就不是我的错吗？我不是认同他的说法，但是，我能不认同吗？我累了，我的错就我的错吧，随便你。反正说了不是，也还是我的错。

may angels lead you in

Yeah i shall continue with the post on the saddest things in life.

Yep i think if i ever see my mom crying in front of me it’d be damn sad. Not to mention traumatizing. I mean moms are forever portrayed as the strongest person on earth, well at least mine is.

Imagine one day your hero crying in front of you. Ugh so horrible. Well since i’m a mom-person, i’m definitely more attached to her and seeing her cry hurts damn bad okay. Hmm, i’m not rly in the mood to continue this topic anymore. This is just one of the two things that makes me the saddest.

Yeah ytd’s act was life changing. I have never experienced so much emotion in just one act before.

It was flag staff pitching and it obviously didn’t turn out that well. Plus i felt faint again YES AGAIN. And after that i was ok even though i just sat there for a bit. Then i didn’t want to fall back out. And in the end the squad had to pump cos i didn’t want to fall out. Ugh makes me feel so sad thinking about this ); If you aren’t there you won’t understand how sad it was.

Then it was hierarchy. And i really felt very weird after knowing about my position. I mean that kind of feeling you get is like noodles tangled in your stomach and you feel a kind of hollowness in one part of your lungs and when you breathe it skips that part or something. Okay if you describe it to eating, i’d say i’d have just eaten a bar of soap that is rather bitter and soapy but i could easily swallow it.

Yeah and i can’t believe i got emotional when we had to talk with the respective ics for our jobs

FIRST TIME IN NP ROOM THOUGH HAHAHA. It was such a joke man. Like some procession haaha. Our dear quarter master got to go in first LOL and i bet she was damn happy. Ohya during the announcement of results, when it was announced that she was QM, the whole squad cheered damn loudly man. I dk why but i was damn happy for her LOLOL

 

 

 

 

Saddest Things in Life

I think there are many sad things in life and realizing that you have been ditched or something isn’t really that sad.

I think there are two saddest things in life.

1. Realizing that you are of less importance than another person

2. Seeing your mom cry.

I mean this is what i think and you may not have the same sentiments.

Yes, i think realizing that you are less important to someone than another person is the hardest thing in life. I don’t mean less important when it comes to separate cliques and stuff. Imagine three best friends. And you somehow realize that you are less important to person A than to person B (assuming you are person C). Yeah, isn’t that sad?

I’m not saying this just to start an argument. I’m saying this cos i have been through this multiple times. You want to feel important to an important person. But no, you aren’t. So what can you do? Pretend to be the person he/ she likes more? You will still be less important.

It sucks to even think about how insignificant you are compared to another person. Maybe i’m a competitive person by nature which explains why i hate getting compared to another person and being less than equal.

And this happens on so many occurrences that you start to look into yourself and realize how, no matter what happens, you will never be better. Never. (I’m not talking about results but of how a person feels about one.) And you may ask why.

Why? Well, it is because you suck as a person, that’s all. Truth hurts, but hey if you are only realizing that now, you are late for reality.

It is like asking people saying relationship problems are the saddest things in life. But honestly, if you look at it closely, there are problems like cheating because you have become less important.

And well, idk, it’s been so long since the death of a close person so i can’t say if i think it’s the saddest thing for now.

Yeah, this is why i think it sucks so bad. It’s hard to even put it in words. The most sophisticated of  words will never be able to put across what i am feeling now

I will continue the mom part next time

we could talk all day

And even all night. You should know how addicting this is 

YES I’M POSTING. GUESS WHAT I DID.

YOU’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GUESS AHAHAHA

GUESS LAH.

GUESSSSSSSS

Okay i have decided not to reveal answer. You may comment to answer this qn and winner gets my armpit hair. (ok kidding)

Anw i shall talk abt ytd’s act luh. It was like the most mindblowing experience ever. Okay kidding. It was just damn tiring.

Okay so in the beginning, 9 ppl from our sqd were chosen to take sqd for ytd’s act and we were split into our own grps alr. Yep then i think the s1s were randomly split up ytd. Yeah and i was with Ding En and Hwee. I was damn stressed about this combi cos they damn zai then im like noobcake and i had the usual 30min-before-cca-stress-syndrome. I was effectively stressed the whole day T.T

Yeah and cos we grp 3 so we chose the 3rd grp for s1s. Idk if it is our grp or what but they were damn zai AFTER OUR TEACHING. Klar i nvr see their standard before so idk if they were very good originally and became lousy when we took them in the beginning and then returned to their zai standard at the end.

At first it was sian and i had to give them 2min water break cos we dk what to do. Yeah and we took them for quick march and berhenti only lor lol. Yeah i did something super asshole haha. When we asked for volunteer nobody volunteered. So we did the countdown thing still nobody volunteered. Then i made them run to steps or something and run back AHAHAHAH. Then when i asked for volunteer after that, they immediately raised their hands YAYZ.

Yeah then it started raining and we shifted them to the sheltered area near grandstand. And idk if it is cos of three of us or what but they srsly became better. Oklar i shall unabashedly say that us shouting at them made them improve haha (at least volume-wise). Yeah there was this small boy boy who couldn’t shout and sir wanted to hear him shout so we made him timer. But it was damn soft.

So this was what i did:
Me: can you shout louder?
Him: huh?
Me:*repeats*
Him: uh.. yes?
Me: Yes what?
Him: Yes ic
Me: CAN YOU SHOUT ANOT?
Him: (louder) yes ic
Me: CAN ANOT?
Him: YES IC
Me: CAN?
Him: (super loud) YES ICCCCC

I think he was damn cute haha cos small small mah LOL.

And they were super happy when we asked them to march from vball court to outside bookshop. Their timings were damn loud zomg and they were quite coordinated yayzz = we succeeded. And during cheering they were damn hoho.

Okay although i feel quite happy that the grp we took was damn loud and enthu i finally realised how i’d rather be cadet ):
So tiring to take their sqd lor T.T

ohyaohya, when we marched them to bookshop, the vballers were playing ball at the big steps and i almost got hit T.T some more i still need apologise for invading their space. FYI: MARCHING IDEA WAS DINGEN’S

BUBBLETEA, HEART!

never saw it coming

meh, it’s another long week without posting. I feel so unaccomplished man. I mean like wtf not like i do my hw at all.

I always look around and i’m like: HEY GOOD BLOG MATERIAL! But wtf leh lazy LOLOL.

OHYA it was my birthday lulz ahahaha. I swear man, it didn’t feel like any day special. I woke up feeling like shit as usual (because of school duh) and was feeling quite asshole that day some more LOL. So when i looked at my phone i was like -.- wtf need reply them again. Then i got to school and realised the spam on my fb wall i’m even more -.- Ohya but thanks to the people who bought me presents anw LOL. CJL’s present is the most zai one lor hahahaha

Ohya and we had oracy on that day which made it 100 times worse fml. And cos i’m a responsible person (COUGHCOUGH) i stayed back to do proposal fml.

OHYES I RMB WHAT I WANTED TO POST ALR.

Okay so i was being in an indulgent mood that day (birthday mah) so when i went to IMM and was going back, i decided to cab back home. You should have seen the fucking weather then man zomg T.T i was melting.

So cos SG cabs damn ex, i alr expected a charge before i got on. And yeah, it was like $1.08 (on top of the $2.50 i think). Then i was like: Corporation Rd. And the uncle was like think think long long. I wouldn’t mind, BUT THAT FUCKER ON METER ALR. Okay so i was like: it’s at lakeside. And he was like: huh? not at bukit timah meh? WTF RIGHT. So i was like damn pekcek cos he on meter and still don’t move and i said: uncle, i tell you is at lakeside means at lakeside right? Can you start moving now?

THEN THAT FUCKER SAID: Huh but i tot bukit timah? COCK ANOT? So i was like fuck this man cos meter jump at least one dollar alr. So i was like: NVM JUST GO LAKESIDE. BTW LAKESIDE IS THE MRT STATION BEFORE BOON LAY MRT HOR.

And he finally moved. BUT DAMN SLOWLY. So when he is about to reach some traffic junction, he’ll totally move slower on purpose. And you should ttly see his face when he made it from green light to amber light to red light at his slow speed. He’s ttly like: YES! OK NVM COS ROAD SAFETY RIGHT?

Rmb i told you how the additional charge was $1.08 right? NO. It was $1.08 but cos of that fucker, it jump jump jump and $3 alr. WHY? PEAK HOUR MAH! Kns i roll home faster. So being the person who cannot accept this bullshit, i told him: eh uncle faster can? You miss 2 traffic lights on purpose right? Ride bicycle faster lor. (obviously i didn’t sound that nice lah)

And he is like coming up with all the crap say what wah in front got this got that. So i got damn pissed and i said: why don’t i pay you $5 less? you start meter before we move, move slowly, let meter jump, move slowly let the additional charge increase! And obv being the fucker he is, he continued crapping and i finally couldn’t take it and shouted (yes i shouted in the cab ): SHUT UP AND DRIVE LAH. (btw this whole convo was done in mandarin)

And finally we reach alr REALLY FINALLY LOR. Okay i paid him and he slowly dug for the fucking money and i’m totally damn pissed. So when i got out of the cab, i ttly swung the cab door open damn violently, SLAMMED SHUT AND PULLED IT OPEN AGAIN. Yes, i left it open. And yes, i did all of that in school uniform LOL.

Yeah then he’s like asking me to close the door and being a born asshole, i totally said (in his irritating tone): OH BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE YOU URH URH URH. AIYA CLOSE YOURSELF. Anyway the urh urh and because because was totally what he did.

And i whipped my hair back (not forth) and got into the lift. SERVES YOU RIGHT LA UNCLE I HOPE YOUR TAXI DOOR DROP OUT AND YOU CAN USE THE EXTRA MONEY YOU CONNED FROM ME TO PAY LOR. Okay it sounds damn ass i know, but no words can explain the anger i felt then. When i’m writing and thinking about what happened, i feel damn pissed now also.

okay i wanted to blog about ytd’s cca. I got lazy lol. Shall post later

Do you feel threatened?

I hope you feel threatened by my presence. Contrary to what you think, i’m not here to threaten your position. You are just very very threatened by me.

Yes, and i hope you continue to feel this way because this shows how weak of a person you are. I don’t think i’m good which makes you less than me. Go wallow in fear because this is what i would like to see of you. I’m not going to pretend to be worried about you because you don’t matter.

lost for words

and void of purpose

Before i forget, i want to say how much amusement i get from emailing my squad mates haha. LOL the last time cong and i were bcc-ing the proposal to them, it was damn amusing to send to those with damn actionzxc email haha. LIKE SOME FUTURE SUPERSTAR PERSON.

I wanted to post about what that happened ytd, ytd but i got lazy again lol.

If a car is moving at 70km/h constant velocity with resistive force of 500N then obviously the thrust force is 500N right? NO. It wasn’t obvious to me during the 10 min of the test and i obviously screwed it tyvm T.T For some reason my thrust force is 0N. GOOD AH -.-

Yeah so after cca hannah tan discussed ROD with us and T.T wtf everything change alr. And you should have seen peihao’s incredulous face when for some reason hannah tan said: can you please excuse us? He ttly chua dio down there and okayokay o.o

Yknow something? Being the OIC is not as easy as i used to think it was. I used to think we just need shake leg and wait for other ppl to do their work. BUT THEN ON FRIDAY, I FINALLY EXPERIENCED THE TRUE SHIT BEHIND EVERY OIC. Cos we were left to dismiss ourselves, we stood there discussing and then cong suddenly said we should go find hannah tan for logistics problems. So, we RAN. Keyword: RAN. To find her.

But on the way, jovil stopped us and started gl-ing me abt the email that i sent him without subject and content. And he even said: yknow that day i damn pissed but nvm. NVM THEN STILL SAY YOU PISSED FOR WHAT? It is like the sir who told us that no matter what we do, our first impression is ruined = don’t tell us cos it makes no sense since we can’t do anything to make it better. This topic makes me damn agitated. In fact i’m so agitated i dropped watermelon on the floor. Damn sinful okay, stuff like watermelon should be savoured to the last drop of juice

Yeah and he continued talking despite us running to find hannah tan in the beginning. Finally he said: eh later your sqd going to eat anot? i going to eat later but i dw eat alone (RMB THIS AH, I WILL CONTINUE ABOUT THIS) Yeah and then after our whole convo, he finally let us off so we continued running to find her. In the end, she wasn’t at the staff room nor at the GO.

At the end of cca we went to makan with him luh. At first we wanted to eat at mac so we went there to find a seat. And ppl who have been to jp should know how horrible the human jam at the walking area outside mac is. So when qp went in to see whether there were seats, i saw this zhabor in some npap shirt. So yealuh obv i would want to show shiying right. So i moved to show her. And cos my moving was damn sudden i accidentally knocked into someone. And by virtue of politeness, i apologised profusely. But to my horror, that guy with a zhabor, gave me the WTF! stare and put his hand up (fingers closed) and gave the “dulan arh?” handsign.

EXACTLY LIKE THIS:

Just that the face more kaobei cos is more uncle. (sorry to you if you happen to see your face here.)

IMAGINE YOU VERY ACCIDENTALLY BUMP INTO SOMEONE AND HE DOES THAT TO YOU? The zhabor should have slapped him there and then and screamed: EH WHY YOU DO THIS TO THE POOR GIRL? PPL JUST WANT SHOW HER FRIEND THE NPAP ZHABOR MAH! GO AND DIE

Seriously lor, this incident has officially scarred me for life T.T